Combat Boots (revised)

i walk for miles, my boots are wearing thin
i dont know where im going, but i wont go back to where ive been
out in the desert, under the blazing sun
i though id found salvation, in the barrel of a gun
you swore to me, the my body you did need
for god and king and country, so that others might be free
what you meant was, to fill your coffers full
and the tax we paid, was out everlasting souls
late at night, as im lying in my bed
im forced to think of all the friends, ill never see again
why they had to die, i doubt ill ever know
but im done taking orders, from you generals and cos

ill march for miles what ill find i couldnt tell
but anything is better then your everlasting hell
ill walk forever till i find my way home
i dont know what ill find there but it wont be a dog and pony show
and ive said it so many times before
im not your soldier anymore
no im not your soldier anymore
i said im not,
your soldier anymore...

Veterans Day

Today marks one of the biggest shams in modern day America. It's the day that the population pretends to give a damn about the veterans who have given everything. Stores throw sales. You can buy a cheap car. Spend, spend, spend, spend, spend.

Right...

Support the VA, IVAW, and the military project today instead of buying a new TV. Vets deserve more then the cheap parlor tricks of politicians and parades.

A Good Day

I've been thinking a lot lately about why I do what I do. Why I fight. Why I yell. I yearn for something better in life. For myself. For everyone. Yet, at the root of it all, when you really get down to it; every day alive is a damn good day.

Rest easy friends.

Saber Pride

Take that Asshole!

Well in case any of you missed it or haven't heard about it by now a member of IVAW, Adam Kokesh, rocked the RNC during McCain's speech by shouting... well something, it was hard to hear, and raising a banner that read "McCain Votes Against Vets."

The mainstream media has been ignoring the massive protests going on outside the convention in St Paul but they sure as hell didn't ignore this one. Several of the news stations even zoomed in on him and clearly showed both the banner and his Iraq Veterans Against the War t-shirt.

According to an interview he gave shortly after being released by the police he said that a Ron Paul supporter was the one who gave him the guest pass.

Sweet...

Peace and Unity

I Am An American Soldier

I was almost everything they could want in a soldier.

I had pride and honor. I was loyal. I would work hard to prove my worth.

I was disenfranchised with my home town, with my life. A high school drop out I needed a place to belong.

I told my wife after about a year in that I loved it. I didn't always agree with how things were done and I hated the war, but I could deal with that. I told her that I was going to be a soldier until the day I died or they told me I couldn't do it anymore.

There was just one thing that kept me from being what they truly wanted.

It wasn't that I questioned things. They could deal with that and my better leaders learned to use it. I would figure things out and notice things that nobody else would or could.

It was something that had been ingrained in my from childhood that kept me from being what they truly wanted in a soldier.

A love of freedom. True freedom, not democratic republic bill of rights constitution four more years pretend your free freedom. I was taught never to let anyone take away the rights that I had and to be willing to fight for the ones that I didn't have but knew I should.

And somebody crossed the line. I threw everything I had at him. I read the manual of courts martial and quoted obscure rulings and appendixes. I read DOD and Army regulations about everything. Every single time he tried to do something illegal I would do everything in my power to stop him.

He swore that I would never get promoted. That he would see to it that I was dishonorably discharged. That I would never get an award.

Well in the end I won.

I was promoted once after he told me that. I was honorably discharged for medical reasons. Right before I got out I received an award for doing his job while he was gone. The commander allowed it even though I was flagged due to pending discharge. He couldn't stop me from getting what I deserved.

After it was all said and done I had lost my sense of my place. The time when they told me I couldn't be a soldier anymore came far sooner then I wanted it to. But that's ok.

I found something in myself that no one can suppress. That beating core of life and freedom and justice and love that makes me who I am, makes me fight for my brothers and sisters of the world, makes me know that we may not win today but we can not lose. Even if the battle rages a thousand years we can not lose. Because we have that core and nothing can crush it.

I am an American Soldier
I am a guardian of freedom and ... life

Just not the way they wanted me to be

Peace and Unity

Not a Serious Number

So I'm reading this article online today and a note at the top of the site says that the article have nothing to do with politics and are all about facts.

Right.

The first article I read starts off by saying that the people of Iraq are the most ruthless enemy America has ever faced and that this 'war' simply has to be won or they'll kill us all.

From there in goes into a discussion about how the loss of life is such a small percentage of life lost in other wars and to other factors and so it's really not a serious number.

Two things I have to say to you buddy.

If the people of Iraq are oh so hell bent on killing us all then why have they not tried in the past? I sure hope your not pulling the old "They attacked us on 9/11" routine because anyone left paying attention, even the pro side, knows that this is simply not true. The pentagon even said it's not true. Maybe you missed the major article that came out about the DOD finally admitted that before the war in Iraq there was no connection between Al Queda and Sadaam, Iraq, etc. Oh I wouldn't doubt that there is now. After all we lumbered in, told them that we were there to liberate them, and now refuse to leave and let them choose there own path. Preferring instead to make sure that the vote for the right people and that we kill off the ones that don't like us and others who happen to get in the way. Wow, we sure are keeping our nation safe by making more enemies. What logic would you call that? Oh yes, Republicanism.

Second thing I have to note on this. The number isn't small to the friends and family you jack ass. Having known some of those that have lost there lives and been injured, traumatized, etc. I can't help but think of some ugly ugly language I want to say about someone telling me that the number dead is small enough not to really matter in the long run. I know that more people die every year driving, and from cancer, and heart disease. You know what? Most of the people weren't forced into facing that death by commanding officers doing the president's bidding. (Well maybe certain medical cases but that's a whole other issue) So don't you tell me for one second that we shouldn't mind the loss of life because it's 'only' 4100+ of our side. Don't you ever fucking tell me that my friends lives were an acceptable loss because more of us didn't die with them.

You people love to say that you support the military and then you pull out some shit like that? Man I'd hate to see how you love your families. "Don't worry about your brother's death son, he was only 20% of the family." Come on now. Stop screaming from the soapboxes how much supporting the war is the only real way of supporting the troops while you demean and degrade those very men you say you're there for.

So many people can see past your nonsense. It leaves me hoping that you don't know how mixed up you are. I'm not even saying that from an emotional point of view. I just can't believe logically that anyone would say things like "I support the troops therefore I support them being killed" and "I support the troops but I think that the number lost is ok, cause it's not too high." Guess what? Behind all the gibberish about 'telling it like it is' that's what your saying.

Damn.

I'm done for now, I'm gonna give myself a fucking ulcer if I keep this rant up.

Assholes

Angry Veteran Comic???

I'm thinking about it. I can't imagine what it would wind up looking like though.... Stick figures with rifles and peace signs? Just maybe. Any talented comic/cartoon artist who feels like volunteering there services for this project please contact me via this website or the standard e-mail if your receiving this message through the list serve.

Comic about IVAW

Swedish comic little gamers runs a strip about IVAW at the America's Army booth. Comic is copyrighted property of the authors and since I didn't ask I hope they don't get mad at me if they find out I posted it here. You can see there comic at www.little-gamers.com.
There guys happy? Shameless promotion of your comic.

Old Friends

I was just looking over some pictures of some of the folks that I served with over the 3 years I was in the Army. I wonder what they would think of me now? I would hope that they understand that what I'm doing I do mostly for them. Somehow, though, I know many would not approve. Sergent Major, First Sergent, they were good men, and good soldiers, but I doubt they would approve... Maybe it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but knowing this bothers me. I always wanted to be looked at as a good soldier. I did everything I could to be a good soldier. I supposed this question know is, am I still a good soldier? Many would say no. I would say that I am, I am only fighting a new battle now. Not that it matters to most folks what I say... even though it should... Good night all. Peace and Unity.

A Tale of Two Veterans....

This is a tale of two veterans. They never fought together, they never served together. In fact they served in two different countries. Those countries, however, are fairly intermingled economically although one of them doesn't like to admit it.

The first veteran served in the US Army from 2005-2008. His tour of duty ended abruptly and early thanks to a medical discharge engineered primarily by a certain person in his leadership. Veteran 1 never wanted to leave the service, he was mostly happy with it and he loved his job. It was something he was good at, and the pay was at least enough to live off of. But Veteran 1 got hurt, and his leadership would not allow him to get the help he needed to become an operational solder again. After fighting discharge recommendations for three months, he gave up and the process for him to leave began. Even though he had been officially pronounced to be unfit for duty at this point, his leadership still refused to allow him to get the proper medical treatment to recover. The situation worsened by the week as Veteran 1 pulled every trick he could think of to put pressure on the leadership to comply with treatment plans. He complained to senior leadership, he reported the offending leader to a number of authorities. Nothing worked. The leader even tried to have him thrown in jail one morning for refusing to discuss the details of his medical issues with him. Veteran 1 explained that he was not required to release those details and that the leader wasn't legaly entitled to know them. So the leader told Veteran 1 that he would be thrown in the post detention facility if he failed to comply. Veteran 1 refused to back down, calling the bluff, and was eventually dismissed and sent back to the doctors. Veteran 1 was discharged six months after the recommendation was handed to his command. The doctors had told the command that the process should have taken no longer then three weeks.

When Veteran 1 left the service he had no money and no home. He lived on other people's couches and floors for several weeks while working under the table as a general construction laborer. His pride pushed aside, he gathered together the funds he could and went to his parent's house. Veteran 1 currently works an underpaid job at a Fortune 500 company that has a brutal reputation and a history of violence. This is where Veteran 1 met Veteran 2.

The details on Veteran 2 are sketchy. He was in the Mexican Army for six years. He wouldn't say why he came to the US and perhaps he doesn't know. He speaks a fair amount of English and Veteran 1 speaks almost no Spanish. There conversations are awkward and strange. Sometimes five or ten minutes go by while neither says a word. At the company it is Veteran 1's job to monitor Veteran 2 while he cleans. Both of the veterans think this policy is racist. Both have remarked as such to each other as they walk around the building. Veteran 1 considers Veteran 2 a friend, but Veteran 2 talks to Veteran 1 as he imagines a black man would have spoken to a white man in the 1840's. With a tone and phrasing of inferiority. This bothers Veteran 1 because he considers Veteran 2 his equal. They also seem to have a lot in common. They were forgotten by the countries they swore to defend and wound up with shitty jobs after the fact.

We are one people. We are one struggle. We all fight the same fight in the end. It doesn't matter what country your from, or what your faith is, or what you used to fight for. In the end it's all just one big battle for freedom, justice, and dignity. At the workplace of Veteran 1 and 2 the battle has long been considered lost. But it will be fought again. It will be won. One day.

4th Brigade Comes Home

The unit that I was attached to through 2006 has recently returned from Iraq. That means I get to stop worrying about the friends that I have who still serve proudly under the sabers of 2/1 Cav 4/2 ID. The unit suffered 37 kia and over 400 wounded. Among them I knew 3 of those kia from that brigade and 3 wounded. I hope that I don't have to know anymore as more and more of my old friends continue there rotations into the sand.

Welcome Home Guys....

Volunteer Army?

Shouldn't you have the right to quit a volunteer army? I was thinking about that for a while today. There is the problem of bonuses paid for enlistment, but what if they simply restructured the system to be more like a civilian company. You get bonuses for how long you actually stay for, not how long you promise to stay for. This would avoid problems such as debt to the government as well (I was medically discharged and had to pay back the 9 months worth of my bonus that I didn't serve even though my discharge was of a full honorable status). This would also mean that the people in the army would actually want to be there. When I was in I always enjoyed working more with the people who loved the job. I myself may have had some problems with the occupation and what not, but I loved my job and would have gladly stayed on for some time longer if given the chance. People who don't really want to be there generally wind up getting in a lot of trouble and getting discharged anyways.

A guy I met who was in my brigade kept getting busted for smoking pot. When he was asked why he kept smoking it his reply was that he knew that at some point that would get tired of it and throw him out. This was his solution to avoid going back to Iraq. It worked. They eventually threw him out. But what if they hadn't? I would not want to be in combat with someone who really didn't want to be there. It could be literally bad for my health.

I have to think then, that the reason you can still get charged with desertion and awol and what not, and have that threat of jail time over your head is that officials know that very few actually want to fight this war. Especially more then once. So they have to force them into it, through stop loss, and threats of charges that could lead to capital punishment like desertion. If we are to be a decent society and treat our soldiers like they are still human beings, then these policies have to end. It is telling when a nation has to coerce and force it's military into combat. If we were truly fighting for freedom and justice these actions would not be necessary as many more people would gladly go and fight to defend these principles.

A volunteer army ought to mean that you can leave at will. Of course this would mean that you don't get paid and if you did it more then once then certainly I see a good reason to not allow that person back in to the service. Other then that as far as I see this could only benefit the military as those remaining would be more dedicated to the cause while those who would be a detriment to the mission wouldn't be there to get in the way. There would be no lengthy paperwork and appeals process so people who strongly disagreed with the reasons to combat could simply leave instead. Everybody wins. Well, everybody except those that beat the drum of nationalism above all other concepts like freedom. They would lose here, but I'm sure most of us wouldn't mind.

When Johnny Came Marching Home

Written in November 2007 by a soldier who had served with 2/1 Cav out of Ft Lewis.

I used to be a soldier in the second calvary
Until the army said that they no longer needed me
So I stayed home while my brothers went to war
And so far seven of my friends won't come home anymore
But some have come home wounded in body and in mind
And we all hurt together for leaving the rest behind

When Johnny came marching home it was on two wheels
And he never talks but always dreams of all his kills
And sometimes he dreams of Rhett's face as sometimes so do I
It hurts more folks then people think when a soldier dies

They were running a patrol when they hit an IED
The bomb exploded to the front and stole Johnny's sanity
Everything went quiet and Johnny found himself flying
He didn't have time to think or feel for he knew that Rhett was dying
What he didn't know was that both his legs were shattered
From striking at the armor plates inside his bones had parted
But he knew he must act fast or our brother wouldn't make it
So he gave it eveyrthing he had hopped up on adrenaline

Well Johnny jumped out into the sand
He tried to save the driver's life but found he could not stand
The captain said your useless boy pull guard go sit down
So Johnny crawled a few yards off and looked nervously around
After a moment or so they came and broke the news
Our brother had been killed in action there was nothing they could do

Now Johnny just sits around drinking jack and coke
Or sometimes just straight shots while he cracks another joke
And sometimes sporadicly he just breaks down and cries
Or plays with that damn toy gun shooting to the skies
A wheelchair bound soldier with a rifle must seem a sight
But you really should have seen him that one night

In a drunken stupor he rolled himself down the stairs
When he hit the bottom he flew out and just lay there
I rushed over to him and he looked up at me and said
God dammit man it didn't work I just wish I were dead
I picked Johnny up and put him back into his chair
Said I hate to tell you bro but war is never fair

Well I haven't seen Johnny now in months maybe three or four
They sent him home, he's no good to them anymore
People like he and I were just a liability
Messing with the VA and others I think who lie to me
Sometimes I think they just don't care about us now
Then I know it's true were just broken soldiers anyhow
Just another pair of hands they know that they don't need
What they don't know was that in me they laid the seed
It's not what they desired but in other people's eyes
It's while I was serving Uncle Sam that I was radicalized
I'll never stop I'll never sleep until it's all undone
Because I remember the day the Johnny came rolling home

- Fin

To my brothers in 2/1 Cav (4/2 cav back in the day) and to Spc Conners, Cpl Butler, Cpl Crouch, Cpl Craig, and Ssg Martin. Saber Pride

Memorial Day

Remember what this day is supposed to stand for. Remember my fallen brothers...

Guard duty and other such nonsense....

I have currently been awake for roughly 39 hours. Not too long ago this was fairly normal for me. There was CQ and staff duty and everything else requiring that a soldier stay awake for a few days. This time I did it to myself. And boy, am I tired. I guess I just got used to tuning out the odd sorts of pains that a man gets from staying awake and not eating or drinking water for a couple of days. Mental note: Not healthy, do not repeat.

So my question is....

Why aren't soldiers routinely allowed more sleep? Surely having more effective soldiers should matter more then having a lot. Unless of course the generals cared nothing for victory...

hm....

The Cost of War (Fun with Economics)

At an estimated cost of 533,821,000,000 dollars af of 15 May 08 around 2100 Pac time the budget for the war could have instead paid for....

almost all of the anticipated medical costs of every person in the country (15,600 per family based on streetinsider.com article)

food for every person in the country with over a hundred billion left over (700 per family per month based on amazon.com article)

tuition at a public four year college for 22,871,465 people for all four years of education (5,836 per year based on money.cnn.com article)

And that's just the tip of the ice berg. So as gas prices rise, food prices rise, medical costs rise, and tuition cost rise remember, you do have someone to blame for your poverty and that someone is our government.

Regime change starts at home...

Winter Soldier

Winter Soldier II: Iraq and Afghanistan took place a couple weeks back outsie Washintong D.C. At the event veterans and active duty personnel of the armed forces as well as family members and Iraqi nationals told of the horrors of war. They were not accusing people of war crimes or blaming the situation on the soldiers on the ground. They primarily blamed the situation on the generals and politicians who are benefiting from the deaths of men and women who agreed to serve there country. We were abused, we were misused, and it continues unabated as an apathetic America chooses to focus on the likes of Heath Ledger over the deaths of over a million iraqis and over 4000 American soldiers. Break the silence. Check out IVAW.org to view clips from Winter Soldier II and start some conversations.